My SoLaCe!

this is what i like!

2010-05-31T14:27:00.002+08:00

a day all by yourself... sitting in a corner, drinking coffee and eating strawberry mousse cake... reminds me of old days when i use to love eating strawberries and drinking coffee in the condo in manila when i was having my summer workshop in Ballet Philippines...

after i graduate i think im going to concentrate on my dancing career... i don't care if my pacing is slow, or that i'm too old for the company, i just want to dance coz it's the only way i can express my inner self to the outside world... i'm not good at writing, drawing, painting, etc. but i know i can still develop the dancer that inside me that was put to sleep when my dad told me i should take nursing... i took nursing alright... but after this, its goodbye injections and hello toeshoes... ahhahahaha

i think everybody has the right to fulfill their dreams right? soon, if i feel that this dream is going nowhere coz let's face it, at this age im suppose to be dancing with a company already but instead im stuck in my hometown, studying nursing (still dancing but not that strict training), then maybe i can find a job as a nurse or i can open up my own ballet school/studio and teach kids... i think i'll be good at it... i'm good with kids, so i guess i can do it...

goodluck to me and my dreams! :)

a need for someone to comfort me

2010-05-28T16:10:00.005+08:00

it's been weeks... i still feel the same.... how can i put all of my feelings in words!

i envy those families that have understanding parents... how i wish i have them also...

here's the story... ever since i got here it's been so chaotic... sometimes i imagine myself in a beach, walking along the shore all by myself. that's the kind of life i want to have, a calm and peaceful life... or sometimes i wish i can fulfill my dreams without people telling me what to do and what not to do. it's been a battle for me, to try and understand their childishness but sometimes i feel i can't take it anymore. they want this, they want that... don't i get to decide what i want for myself? i've been living 21 years trying to please them, but i feel whatever i do makes them disappointed with me... it's really really hard trying to please them and at the same time trying to please myself.

here's another story... i can't stand watching their dramas anymore! they fight, and cry, and fight, and cry, its just too much for me already! they fight because one of them doesn't have the heart to understand the other, they keep fighting because of pride! one of them is not happy and contented with the little things given to hhim/her. they still ask for more! he/she wants to do everything according to what he/she wants! really! it gets on my nerve to see this situation. situations like this can be avoided by trying to sit and talk, one wants to talk, the other avoids talking, what the fuck is that!!!!!!

another thing is the endless nagging and complaining! i tell you... if you live in our house you will need an earphone all day everyday! what's even worse is she acts the opposite when infront of people and tries to narrate stories that would crush us, coz those stories were suppose to be for "close family relatives" those knows us better and would just laugh at our mistakes and won't hold it against us!

i'm venting this all out here coz i realized it's the only place i can be right now and it's the only company i have. coz my boyfriend at the moment is nowhere to be found... he's just not so into our relationship anymore and that's another chapter of my story... it's so frustrating to have a boyfriend who doesn't act like one... im no two timer, when i fall inlove i really do, this time i guess it's time to let go coz i feel like im the one doing all the work for this relationship to last! i've been trying to understand everything that time came i couldn't understand everybody anymore coz i feel i couldn't even uderstand myself anymore!

it's time to get connected with myself again and follow my feelings... its time to listen to my inner self and understand what im going through and maybe from there i can start all over again.

thanks for being here...
i will be seeing you again...
and i'll keep writing my day to day stories...
mwahz!

Acer Aspire One BIOS Recovery

2010-04-11T12:15:00.001+08:00

The AA1 has a built-in BIOS recovery routine, which makes it possible to flash the BIOS even if the system doesn't boot anymore. It's only meant for emergencies, that's why it's also known as crisis disk mode. Use at your own risk.

First format an USB flash drive with FAT.

Download the latest BIOS, extract all files from the zip file, put both FLASHIT.EXE and the BIOS file with FD suffix in the root directory of the drive. The files must not be in a folder. Rename the BIOS file to ZG5IA32.FD, that's important.

Turn the AA1 off, with the USB drive still connected, and make sure both battery and AC adapter are also connected.

Press Fn+Esc, keep it pressed and press the power button. Release Fn+Esc after a few seconds, the power button will be blinking. Press the power button once. The AA1 will now initiate the BIOS flash, do not interrupt it under any circumstances. After a while the power button will stop blinking, and the AA1 will reboot shortly after. Wait patiently.

The BIOS has been flashed and all settings reset to default.

If it doesn't reboot by itself, but the power button still blinks, wait a few minutes before turning it off, and try again.

--- this saved my laptop! :)

desperate

2009-11-13T10:23:00.002+08:00

i want to go somewhere today...
somewhere i can find peace...
someplace silent and calm...
i want to go swimming in a pool of roses
i wanna escape the heat of the sun
i wanna smell morning dew when i wake up
i wanna take pictures of great memories
i wanna leave right away and never come back
where is this place?
i don't know yet
can someone please take me there
coz i don't know where it is
but i know it's somewhere out there

september 22,2009

2009-09-22T22:29:00.003+08:00

today was the same day as everyday... people envy you just because you know a lot of things! they call you "feeler" just because you can explain and present well in class... they call you "others" coz you know how to convers in English... isn't that pathetic!

some of them wants to pull you down becaus they can't reach your level! the hell i care... if I allow myself to be pulled down and stoop down to their level i guess i'll be as dumb as them... so i won't allow it! you may call me "feeler" "others" etc.etc. I won't mind coz i know i'll benefit from all this later on in life. they'll remaine stupid... lots of "hahahah's" for me... all i need are my true friends, and my special someone's in life... :)

i can't believe i'm actually blogging using my new Laptop! hahahahah weeeeeeeeeee! :) watch out for more blogs soon! :)

latest leakage of MJ's Autopsy

2009-07-12T10:27:00.000+08:00

THE horrifying state of pop superstar Michael Jackson in his final days can be revealed by The Sun today.

Harrowing leaked autopsy details show the singer was a virtual skeleton — barely eating and with only pills in his stomach at the time he died.

His hips, thighs and shoulders were riddled with needle wounds — believed to be the result of injections of narcotic painkillers, given three times a day for years.

And a mass of surgery scars were thought to be the legacy of at least 13 cosmetic operations.

Experts found the distressing evidence of Jacko’s physical decline while investigating his startling death in Los Angeles last week.

The examination showed the 5ft 10in star — once famed for his on-stage athleticism — had:

PLUNGED to a “severely emaciated” 8st 1oz. It is understood anorexic Jackson had been eating just one meagre meal a day.

Pathologists found his stomach empty aside from partially-dissolved pills he took before the painkiller injection which stopped his heart. Samples were sent for toxicology tests.

LOST virtually all his hair. The pop pin-up was wearing a wig when he died and pathologists said little more than “peach fuzz” covered his scalp.

A scarred section of skin above his left ear was entirely bald — apparently the result of a 1984 accident when his hair caught fire as he filmed an ad for Pepsi.

SUFFERED several broken ribs as frantic rescuers pumped his chest after he collapsed in cardiac arrest. Four injection sites were found above or near to Jacko’s heart.

All appeared to result from attempts to pump adrenaline directly into the organ in a failed bit to restart it.

Three of the injections had penetrated the heart wall — causing damage — but a fourth missed and hit one of the 50-year-old star’s ribs.

The autopsy also found unexplained BRUISING on Jackson’s knees and on the fronts of both shins. And there were CUTS on his back, indicating a recent fall.

The King of Pop’s once handsome face bore a network of plastic surgery scars, while the bridge to his nose had vanished and its right side had partially collapsed.

As inquiries into the tragedy last night focused on the star’s personal physician Dr Conrad Murray, a source close to the Jackson entourage said: “Michael’s family and fans will be horrified when they realise the appalling state he was in.

“He was skin and bone, his hair had fallen out and had been eating nothing but pills when he died. Injection marks all over his body and the disfigurement caused by years of plastic surgery show he’d been in terminal decline for years.

“His doctors and the hangers-on stood by as he self-destructed. Somebody is going to have to pay.”

Cardiologist Dr Murray was thought to have given Jackson the final injection of painkiller Demerol.

He is facing serious questions about his resuscitation attempts, which began when he started CPR as Jacko lay unconscious on a bed. Basic first aid guidance says patients must be face-up on a hard surface before compressions.

Experts yesterday expressed amazement that a trained cardiologist could have made such an error, potentially wasting vital minutes.

Additional damage was believed to have been caused by oxygen masks and tubing inserted during resuscitation attempts. But in an ironic twist, the probe found Jacko was recovering well from skin cancer — with an op to shave cells from his chest a total success.

A second autopsy demanded by the Jackson family was carried out at a secret location on Saturday after the first ruled out foul play.

Family friend Rev Jesse Jackson said the family were deeply suspicious about what caused his death.

Dr Murray was hired just 11 days ago by AEG Live — the firm masterminding Jacko’s 50-date residency at London’s O2 Arena, which was due to start next month.

Sources claimed the family were preparing a multi-million-dollar lawsuit against the cardiologist.

Detectives were unable to find the doctor at Jackson’s home and his car was taken away for analysis as police sought him for questioning. He surfaced late on Friday and was quizzed over the weekend.

The Sun told on Saturday how Jacko had developed stage fright for the first time and was terrified of performing the comeback gigs.

Aides claimed the ailing star even believed he would be KILLED if he pulled out on health grounds. We also revealed he was taking a potentially toxic cocktail of drugs.

Sources last night said prescriptions for drugs for patients other than Jacko were found at his home. Those patients were due to be quizzed.

confused mind speaks again!

2009-04-09T17:37:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wonder, do i really want to be with him?
does he love me because we have something in common?
or he loves me because he has to and that he's getting old and needs someone already?
is he just being a gentle man and sticking up to his words "i love you" but the truth is he doesn't really mean it but he doesn't want me to get hurt?
all this questions are just a bunch of questions not bothering to be answered....
questions i keep asking myself but i don't really know why i'm asking them

i'm inlove, he's a great guy, smart, lovable, huggable, funny, great sence of humor, but, he's not at all romantic (i think) well he thinks about my welfare and all but then when it comes to being romantic, i have to say he is failing!
how can i teach him? everytime i feel i needed reminding that somebody loves me, someone "special", he's never there...

anybody having this situation? join the club!

lakawon trip

2009-04-06T17:00:00.005+08:00

it was fun! we woke up 6 am, on the road by 830 am, arrived in Lakawon around quarter to 10, Jesse went there with the speedboat together with captain joey (also a pilot) with his wife annie, and maxine (their daughter)... it was soooo fun! jesse and joey went skiing, my cousins went banana boat riding, my dad went snorcling, my aunt and uncle went swimming, my brother and lolo slept, my mom studied her reviewer for NCLEX, all in all it was a day to relax! mommy, (though she was studying) felt relaxed also because of the ambiance, we had fun and didn't want that day to end, but it had to, jesse, joey and his family had to go back to manila and work, everybody went back to bacolod... but it was a moment worth remembering! hehehehe

excerpts from the lyrics of the songs i can relate to right now!

2009-02-06T09:51:00.003+08:00

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

****************************************************************************

Dying inside 'cause I can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby
I try and try so hard
To keep our love alive

Baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now
No matter what I do
But baby, baby
I stay in love with you

*********************************************************************

This is my last dance with you
This is my only chance to do all I can do
To let you know that what I feel for you is real

So hold me close cause it feels so right
This is my last chance to make it mine
Make this dream reality
So close and yet so far
Gotta find a way into your heart
Gotta speak my mind
Gotta open up to you this time
I can't let you slip away tonight
This is my last dance with you

i love you i really do!

2009-02-06T09:47:00.001+08:00

sometimes i just can't express myself because i'm scared to fall again!

i guess this is LOVE

2009-02-04T10:51:00.002+08:00

before you went home i already tried to condition my self and told myself that you're here because of business matters but i could not stop my self from hoping that even just for a moment you could stop everything and concentrate your thoughts on me. i know this business is important and i'm doing the best i can to adjust and listen to your problems. i'm trying so hard but sometimes i feel like vomiting over this issues! i just wish we could put them aside everytime we get to see/ spend time together. i'm just so DAMN tired of listening to it! you talk about it with your family, with friends, with me, and sometimes i tend to absorb the negative side of it and it just ruins our moment. we only get to see each other once, twice or thrice a month and all you ever talk about is business business business! i'm sick and tired of all this!

when i took you to the airport yesterday i never said a word that's because i wanted you to notice me being quiet, but i failed, obviously you didn't. when you kissed me goodbye i was waiting for you to say you love me but again you didn't, this past few days i feel like i'm the only one doing all the efforts. you know what's funny? depspite all these, i don't think i have the guts to leave you because i know i could get hurt and i won't be able to stand the pain, i can't and i won't leave you. i just want you to notice what i'm doing coz i don't think you do.

know it's all out of my system! thanks to this blogsite, i've said everything i wanted to say... i don't care if some of you, reading this blog, thinks i'm stupid for staying, i don't really care!

this morning!

2009-01-23T10:00:00.002+08:00

woke up this morning feeling down...
it's another one of those mornings
when you don't understand yourself
hormones changing?
i don't know!
relationship fading?
i don't think so!
ballet rehearsals?
they're doing fine!
career priority?
it will come in due time!

see! no problems here...
everything's doing ok!
but why the DOWN feeling?!

maybe it's just because this freakin' coffee maker's not working!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whats the latest?

2009-01-17T21:03:00.013+08:00

it has been over a year since i last posted on this blog site! hehhehehe
d naman! hheeheh my last post was 2008, now it's 2009! wooopeeee!

anyway! i don't know where to start... :)

my new year was a little bit special, it wasn't that i spent it with jesse, that's the sad part coz he had to fly out of the country for Christmas eve and new years eve! huhuhuh BUT! i still felt that those days were special aside from the fact that i spent it with my family, Jesse and I were able to talk using skype!

here are some pictures we had when Jesse went home before Christmas

the gang!

me and jesse

our reunion!

check out my friendster album "bacolod" for more pictures

is it true!

2008-12-05T09:23:00.000+08:00

i don't know if your just making this up or if it's TRUE!
i hope and pray that this time it's true
i can't take anymore lies like those in the past!

if i were a boy!!!!

2008-11-24T22:02:00.000+08:00

i heard this song over the radio one time and i just can't stop singing it!!!
i guess i can relate to every word found in the lyrics! here goes!!!

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it
Because they’d stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone its broken
So they think
that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waiting for me to come home (to come home)

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don’t understand (yea you don’t understand)
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy…

&^@&$%#$

2008-11-07T22:46:00.001+08:00

how long will it go on like this!!!

*bow*

sembreak almost over!

2008-10-31T13:30:00.002+08:00

In less than a week we'll be back, walking along those corridors
bringing bags, books, and all those materials the teacher required,
sitting on those plastic arm chairs and listening to those
very interesting to the very boring lectures of the teachers.

In less than a week that place will be filled with students from
different places, students with different personality and interest
yet bound together by a a very particular course, the reason why they are there
and that is NURSING!

In less than a week another semester will start, another set of migraines, sleepless nights,
cramming days!

I guess it's time to say goodbye to Sembreak and say hello to 2nd Sem.!

God bless to all the students out there!!!!

mixed emotions!

2008-10-30T08:56:00.002+08:00

woke up today feeling happy, sad, scared, angry!
got butterflies in my stomach!
want it all out of me!
just want to wake up feeling satisfied with everything!

i'm happy and i don't know why
i'm sad i don't know what's wrong
i'm scared i don't know what i'm scared of
i'm angry i don't know to what extent!

i feel like something's wrong with this whole set up
i just can't seem to find "that"!
my instinct's killing me!
it's starting to work again!
i'm scared coz every time it works it's 95% right!

someday i'll find truth to all this lies!

october 25

2008-10-26T13:24:00.002+08:00

Jesse's birthday! :0!!!!

i gave him a perfume from addidas...:)

he took the first flight home yesterday morning and went back to manila (last flight) last night.
we went to their farm, ate lunch together and spent the whole afternoon together...
an afternoon i didn't want to end!
haaaaaay! :)

things that happend before until my birthday!

2008-10-22T12:30:00.004+08:00

after the 3 nights and three days of partying and Maskara celebration, i celebrated my 20th birthday! i had so much fun that i didn't want that day to end!!!! here's what i did the whole week end up to my birthday!

Friday October 17,2008
- i watched the opening of the Maskara festival on TV
- i had Ballet classes from 5:30 pm to 8:30 pm
- we went out with some nurses, "Night out"
- went home around 12 MN

Saturday October 18, 2008
- Slept the whole morning!
- stayed in the house the whole afternoon
- went out around 8:30 pm
- went to Sorrento and partied the whole night till 4 am!
- went home "DRUNK!" around 4 am

Sunday October 19, 2008
- slept the whole morning
- got acidic from drinking that night!
- hang over!
- stayed home whole afternoon!
- went to SM carpark and watched the Drumbeat Competition around 8:30 pm
- Fireworks display!
- closing party
- went home around 3 am

Monday October 20,2008
-woke up early coz Jesse arrived from manila
- we went to get the new puppy "IVA"
- we went to Bob's Restaurant for lunch (met up with some of my friends from Ballet Philippines who went to Bacolod for the Maskara festival)
-rest the whole afternoon, ate ice cream, went around Bacolod... blablabla
- i had ballet classes from 5:30-8:00 pm
- dinner date with Jesse... hehehe
- went to Calea for dessert
- went home around 11:30 pm

Tuesday October 21,2008 "MY BIRTHDAY!!"
-slept the whole morning coz Jesse went to the farm
-had lunch with the family and friends
-spent my whole afternoon with Jesse
- had my ballet classes from 5:00-9:30 pm
- went home and found out somebody stole Pixie! huhuhuh

GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS!
* my mom bought me the sandals i was dying to have!!! thanks momyyy!!!!
*Jesse gave his unexpected gift!!! ipod classic 120 GB! now i can listen to music or watch my favorite movies wherever i go incase i get bored!!!

couldn't stop enjoying until the night of my birthday when i found out my dog's missing coz some heartless kid stole her! i guess sometimes after all those raging emotions of happiness, being extatic, and being on cloud nine, the Lord has his own way of calming you down and bringing you back to reality... i miss PIXIE! i miss my naughty and wise puppy! the puppy who made me laugh all the time, who's always ready to greet me with a bark and a lick everytime i arrive... the house is a little quiet now that she's no longer around... i just hope whoever that kid was, he'll take care of her the way i took care of pixie... :'(

new baby!!!

2008-10-17T14:06:00.004+08:00

it's been a long time since my last post... for the past few days i couldn't even just caress the keyboard coz my mom's using it for her NCLEX review!
thank God now i can have my turn with the computer! yahoooo!

what have i been doing for the past days... hmmmmm

sem.break's here, boring long days! i wish classes will start early for 2nd sem.!
i miss being busy! i miss waking up early in the morning and prepare myself for a 7:00 am class....

i'm now reading the 4th book of Stephanie Meyer "BREAKING DAWN"
imagine how boring long days can turn a "use to be" book hater into a "Book worm"! i can't stop reading books! hahaha my mom thinks it's good, i think it's creepy! hahahaha

last Wednesday Jesse bought this cute dalmatian pup,something we can take care together! hahahah we named her Iva! here's some of her pictures! :)
she lookes like a panda! hehehehe

treatment for HANGOVERS!

2008-10-04T17:15:00.003+08:00

*The best ways to avoid a hangover is to avoid too much alcohol! however, that is little consolation if you are suffering the agonies of a banging head, parched throat, and the constant threat of being sick. if you know you have drunk too much, you can prevent a hangover by drinking at least 5 cups of water before going to bed. this will help to flush out some of the toxins. Softdrinks can also help your throbbing head because they alkalize that acid in the stomach.

REMEDIES

* for some reason, eggs have always been a big feature of hangover cures across all cultures. and, in fact, eggs do contain a certain chemical now known to neutralize the effects of alcohol, so it seems that the old eggnog remedy or fried eggs the morning after may work well after all!

*for an upset stomach or nausea, try grating some fresh ginger root into a mug of boiling water and sipping it slowly. drinking ginger tea will also soothe your stomach, and it tastes delicious, too.

*replenish your lost vitamin C with a glass of fresh orange juice and add a teaspoon of lime juice or a dash of cumin powder to really get you back in gear. Drinking a cup of thyme tea will ease your headache and queasy stomach, more effectively and safely than many over-the-counter pain relievers.

*Peel a whole head of garlic and put it in a pan with 1 1/2 cups of red wine. bring to a boil and simmer for 20 minutes. Strain and drink slowly. It is the tannins, not the alcohol, that helps to cure your banging head!

september 17,2008

2008-09-19T13:09:00.002+08:00

finally! i was able to introduce Jesse to my parents!
of all the guys i had dated and had relationships with before he's the first guy i
introduced as "someone special" to me!

i don't wanna talk about his age though! hahaha i think,
he's 14 years older than me, or even more! hahahahah
ok lang!

after introducing him to my parents we went out for dinner
with his parents! SEPT. 17, 2008- meet the parents day! hahahaha
i also met some of his cousins and relatives...

one f those days

2008-09-05T20:55:00.002+08:00

it's another one of those days when you just want to curl up on the sofa
or your bed and stay there till you think everything is already clear...

it's another one of those days when you feel your heart pump and pump
faster and faster and you tears starts falling...

it's another one of those days when you want to throw anything that is in your way
cause you felt you fell into his or her trap...

but despite those raging emotions you just can't wait to have another one of those
days were you can just smile and laugh at it, coz you made the right choice...

it'll be one of those days when you get to feel you made the right choice of letting go
coz it was the best thing to do, rather than stay and pretend you love him/her when
in fact you never did feel the feeling of love when you were together!

soon, it'll be one of those days when you will be able to let go and move on with your life... :)

remedies for sunburn!

2008-08-27T09:19:00.002+08:00

For instant relief from sunburn, dab on a little
lemon juice or soak a flannel in cold tea and place it over the affected area.
for the kind of all-over sunburn that keeps you awake at night,
try adding two tablespoons of baking soda to a cool bath
and immerse your whole body in the water.
You can also mash the pulp of a ripe avocado and smooth
over the sunburnt area for a soothing effect.
Bathe your face in buttermilk or grate up some potatoes
and apply to the sunburned area.
The starch will cool and soothe the burn.
Use cold peppermint tea as a mild wash to ease the stinging.
Or you can try dissolving Epsom salts or baking soda in cold
water and draping a cloth soaked in the solution over the affected area.
Milk or magnesia has been successfully used to treat sunburn,
and mud or clay can ease the stinging pain.

confusion!

2008-08-23T09:46:00.002+08:00

a sensation of gloominess
creeps inside me
as i awaken from a deep slumber
no message, no message, no message!
why didn't he? why hasn't he? where is he?
somethings amiss...
somethings not right (dot) (dot) (dot)

lakawon trip!

2008-08-21T14:23:00.010+08:00

funny and wierd day!

2008-08-14T15:08:00.003+08:00

I was listening to worship songs on my ipod this morning and at the same time rushing to school coz i woke up LATE and was super LATE for my 730 am class!

after i got dressed for school, i rushed out of the house
rode a tricycle to a jeepney stop
while waiting for a jeep, i got so worried that they might have a quiz or an oral recitation or something...
when the jeep arrived, not minding my heels, i rushed up then BAM! na "ungad" ako! infront of a lot of riverside students! that was only the first blooper! the next blooper was when i got down of the jeep, i missed one step then BAM! na "ungad" nanaman! good thing my classmate was in front of me so i did not fall directly forward! next, after i reached the classroom i just realized that our teacher announced "NO CLASS ON THURSDAY!" i came all the way to school for nothing! shit! i was even rushing! na ungad pa ako 2 times!

my next class was 10 am i still had 2 hours, i didn't know what to do so i went to the library and opened my friendster after 15 min. i went out to eat then my classmate texted me that our teacher was going to give a 20 points test @ 9:00 i had no idea!

lunch time came, @ the foodcourt... i went to buy my lunch, i had nilaga, and porkchop. good thing i was able to put it on the table right away coz when i sat down the chair slid of my butt then BAM! na "ungad" nanaman ako! good thing we sat at the back corner of the food court so no one noticed me!

after lunch i went home right away coz i felt a very creepy feeling. a feeling like someone's making fun of me

i went home and slept the whole afternoon!

busy! busy! busy!

2008-08-14T08:28:00.003+08:00

it's been a while since my last post...
i've been very busy with a lot of things...
1. rehearsals for our CATS show in Silay this December.
2. make choreograpy for the CATS show
3. rehearsals for our modern ballet competition this coming August 29,2008
4. study my lessons (Nursing life, living it, loving it!)
5. teaching ballet (have to make a sort of "lesson plan" for next class)
6. still have classes in the morning till afternoon from 7 am to 5 pm

i'm happy i can balance everything right now!
that is why i still have time to relax, unwind and date someone! hahaha
i'm loving every day God is giving me...

how do i love thee? let me count the ways... Elizabeth Browning

2008-08-10T18:26:00.000+08:00

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

great morning!

2008-07-28T09:00:00.003+08:00

you ever get the feeling of waking up feeling fresh and ready to start a new day?
i just did!
the feeling of wanting to smile the whole day without any reason at all!
the feeling of being inspired to do work, to dance, to study

i got up early this morning coz my puppy got hungry
but before that i read this inspiring message from a friend
and it made my day!
i would usually wake up around 10 am then go back to bed 5 min. later
but this morning i woke up around 7 am fixed the bed,
took pixie out, fed her, played with her then she went back to sleep

as for me, i took a bath and ate breakfast.
It's really nice to start a new day fresh and happy!

great morning everybody!

i'm inlove with my new baby!

2008-07-27T22:50:00.003+08:00

my dad gave me this cute white Labrador puppy...
her name's pixie!
i fell in love with her the moment i saw her...
she's so cute and adorable!
all she does is sleep, eat, sleep again, eat, poop, eat again then sleep... hahaha
finally i have someone to spoil and spend my money on! haha
i love you pixie!

a friend of mine!

2008-07-27T07:52:00.003+08:00

I’ve known you for so long
You are a friend of mine
But is this all we’d ever be?
I’ve loved you ever since
You are a friend of mine
And babe is this all we ever could be?

Refrain:
You tell me things I’ve never known
I shown you love you’ve never shown
But then again, when you cry
I’m always at your side
You tell me ’bout the love you’ve had
I listen very eagerly
But deep inside you’ll never see
This feeling of emptiness
It makes me feel sad
But then again I’m glad

I’ve known you all my life
You are a friend of mine
I know this is how it’s gonna be
I’ve loved you then and I love you still
You’re a friend of mine
Now, I know friends are all we ever could be

You tell me things I’ve never known
I shown you love you’ve never shown
But then again, when you cry
I’m always at your side
You tell me ’bout the love you’ve had
I listen very eagerly
But deep inside you’ll never see
This feeling of emptiness
It makes me feel sad
But then again
Then again
Then again I’m glad

a night with my kahayag family!

2008-07-24T23:46:00.008+08:00

GUD NIGHT FRIENDS!

2008-07-14T22:03:00.002+08:00

i love my friends.

i love how they laugh at me whenever i crack stupid jokes.
i love how they laugh with me whenever i feel high.
i love how they get angry whenever i forget my responsibilities.
i love how they put my heart back together after it was torn apart by some stupid ass.

and yeah, i love how they seem to make the world euphoric with just a hug or a pat on the back...

and im inlove with the idea that you are one of them...

good night my friends!

unchained melody

2008-07-12T13:12:00.002+08:00

i use to think that i was strong
i know realize that i was wrong
coz' everytime i see your face
my mind becomes an empty space

i close my eyes
and think of you

i close my eyes the moment i surrender to you
i get lost everytime i look at you

my schedule

2008-07-10T20:34:00.003+08:00

time to rest everybody!
i had a very long day today...

woke up around 4 am to study
went to school 7am
class started 730 to 12 noon
went to SM with Jamie around 12:30
had lunch at KFC
had coffee at figaro
went back to school 3:00 pm
studied my major again 3:00-5:00pm
ate dunkin donut and made chicka2x 5:00-5:30pm
class started 5:00-7:00pm
ballet class after 7:30-8:30pm
just arrived...

time to take a bath, get a massage, study and sleep...
hehehe

9th of JULY

2008-07-08T22:03:00.003+08:00

this day had so many memories....

*Those stargazing nights!
reminiscing on the night we shared glances...
a night at the amphi after my danctroupe rehearsal...
those sweet words i heard from you for the very first time...
those cuddles we had coz it was cold
those kiss you gave coz you loved me
the smile you showed coz you said i made you happy
which made me happy at the same time
then you took me home
just when i thought everything was a dream
you reached for my hand and kissed it...
then it all started another chapter of my life...

but it had to end, cloud nine's over...
and i am now letting it all go
coz somehow i have to...
no regrets of what we had,nor regrets on memories to keep... :)
it'll be treasured.
The past made me grow inside and out...
(you know who you are)

*Another important event that happened on this very day
was the birth of a nice and the bestest friend i ever had.
He was more than a friend, no words could describe the kind
of friendship we had.
He became my partner for 10 months, sad to say it had to end
coz he went somewhere far...
thank God he left me those memories worth keeping and treasuring...
i know he's somewhere out there, i know he's just watching over us
i will forever treasure the things we had in the past...
somehow i have gotten over what happened to him...
i learned to accept the fact that he is gone...(i'm having goosebumps!)
wherever you are Clint, i'll always include you in my prayers... :)

an opinion

2008-07-07T10:12:00.002+08:00

A lot of people find it hard to relate or understand the story of a certain ballet repertoire.Some find it boring, some think it's a waste of time spending those hours sitting inside the theater and watching, watching and watching and not understanding what the ballerinas are portraying. It's either the dancers don't know how to portray the role very well or the audience just don't want to dig in deeper to the thought of what the dancers are trying to portray, in other words they don't use their imagination coz they're so serious and they interpret it literally...get the point?

artists!

2008-07-07T09:28:00.003+08:00

i have always imagined myself staying in a place where performers stay...
a dorm where all kinds of artist sleep, rest, or do whatever they want to do...
a place where we can express ourselves without people minding us coz they think its art!
a place where our imagination can grow...
a place where we can express ourselves through dance, poetry,paintings, and all other kinds of art!

is it hard to look for those places?
looking for it isn't hard, it's all over the world
conservatories, dormitories for artists, theater, opera houses,etc.
what's hard is, how to get there, how to qualify for scholarships
coz lets face the fact that not all artist are wealthy (for starters)...

great artist have struggled a lot in the past
but it never stopped them, they took it as challenges in life they have to overcome,
and that made them wealthy, wise and strong
i have come across a lot of local/international artists
and they all said the same thing: (the thought)
*being an artist isn't easy, you have to struggle and defend your art
*one of the challenges, is how you'll be able to fascinate the crowd
*art is simple but it takes an artist to bring it out into the world and show it to the people
*it takes an artist to teach the people how to love art, specially those who think art is just a waste of time

i would LOVE to be one of those artist, and in order to do that i have to overcome several challenges on my own, but i think of it this way, it would be the best chapter in my life if i will be able to reach that dream..."what was once a dream is now a reality" this will be the phrase i would someday love and enjoy saying.

i am starting the first chapter of my struggles.
*how to balance ballet life and graduate as a nurse at the same time... hahahah
it'll take a lot of time before i will reach both but then sooner or later i will reach it. I will because i WANT to, not because i HAVE to...

to those struggling artist out there... keep on struggling, you will soon reach that point in life when you can say "what was once a dream is now a reality"

make- believe

2008-07-04T20:44:00.010+08:00

confusion rushed through
the veins of my brain
were all those real?
or were they just make-believe?

midnight breeze take me away tonight
take me somewhere silent
somewhere calm and peaceful
let me think again...

pacify me
cradle me till i doze off
whisper those cool breeze into my ear
let me hear those whistling tune of your breath

gently caress my hair
my face, my cheeks and neck
put me into deep slumber
and never dare wake me

until i realize it was all make-believe
slap me with reality
burn me with the fire of real life
hit me with the truth

2008-07-03T19:32:00.002+08:00

You’re in my arms

And all the world is calm

The music playing on for only two

So close together And when I’m with you

So close to feeling alive

A life goes by Romantic dreams will die

So I bid mine goodbye and never knew

So close was waiting, waiting here with you

And now forever I know

All that I wanted to hold you So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end

Almost believing this was not pretend

And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come

So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days

If I should lose you now?

We’re so close To reaching that famous happy end

And almost believing this was not pretend

Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are

So close So close And still so far

men and women from my school

2008-07-01T09:02:00.007+08:00

you won't believe the kind of women we have
at our school, same goes with the guys!

guys- they meet a girl introduced by a friend... if they like the girl
they would usually ask for the number, then start texting, then
here's the funny part, they'll deny the fact that they already
have a girlfriend, a child or a wife!
then when their partner finds out they reverse the situation,
they would say that the girl asked for his number and started texting
him, that she would want to meet him somewhere... these are the kind of
guys we have! they think women are stupid like them, they think they
are so handsome that they can have the women they want.. hahah
not in my world...

women- they listen to the guy or their boyfriends, they act stupid!
they listen to every single word the guy says, they don't even bother
looking for proofs, as long as it's from the mouth of the guy then its true!
BULLSHIT! so most of our girls in our school are what we call palengkeras!
its common to hear "bigaon ka!" "mang-aagaw!" "gaga!" "he's mine bigaon"
etc. etc. etc. there!

see how cheap they are! OMG! if all girls are like this, guys would think they are so handsome that girls would fight for them! IMAGINE that! sorry to say i'm not one of those girls! BUYAG!
girls naman! pls. keep your dignity intact fight if you think you have to fight, but fighting for a boyfriend who is "babaero" is useless! you'll just look bad in public! guys usually enjoy this scene (girls fighting over them) to think that they're not even worth fighting for!

bottom line- women keep your heads up high, don't listen right away, look for proofs and then when you have proven it, think first if it's worth a fight! think think think! don't ruin your reputation over a guy who's not even worth it!
guys, if you think all girls are stupid that they'll just fall on their knees and praise you, you're WRONG! some desperate women may do that but not all! so if you think you can get away with cheating the first time, think twice before doing it again coz women may have forgiven you with what you've done before but they DON't forget! keep that in mind!

be like this!

2008-06-30T08:58:00.002+08:00

Don't let yourself be stopped by anything from doing
what you have always wanted.
We are all afraid of not fitting in to this world,
of not being accepted.
BUT, it only takes for you to look around
and figure out
that you are surrounded by people
who loves you unconditionally.
Feel free to make mistakes
because even if you shrug them away,
the people who love you will always choose to
STAY! :)

a beautiful morning!

2008-06-28T06:52:00.002+08:00

woke up today...
with a smile on my face...
my cell phone on my hand...
and a message from a friend
who cares...

i'm so blessed to have friends like them...
they keep my hopes UP!
during those times when i feel no one cares?
they're always there!
ready to lend a hand...

truly God had his way of punishing and rewarding people...
i had been punished, and now i'm rewarded
rewarded with friends who treasure and value our friendship!
i have everything in life... and i'm satisfied!

may GOD bless you the same way he has blessed me!

PIA Nationwide News Releases

2008-06-27T21:56:00.000+08:00

Dance troupe joins China arts festival

Dumaguete City (6 November) -- The Silliman University Kahayag Dance Troupe (SUKDT) will represent the country in 9th Nanning International Folk Song Arts Festival in Guangxi, Mainland China on October 28 to 31.

Organized for eight straight years, the Nanning International Folk Song Arts Festival has become one of the most famous cultural events in China. SUKDT is the only group invited from the Philippines.

Seven students comprise the SUKDT delegation to the festival: Naddie Orillana, Aljana Alicia Limuaco, Claudio Ramos II, Brian Lee Celeste, Engel Boen Zerna, Aiken Quipot and Richu John Kung. SUKDT is headed by Dance Director Ronnie Mirabuena. (PIA/JCT)

something for an old bestfriend "CLINT"

2008-06-27T21:14:00.000+08:00

This is for my peoples
Who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby
Your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye
No, no, no

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers
Friends and cousins
This is for my peoples
Who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky
Cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it
But you kept me in line
I didn't know why
You didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through

All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show
Because you loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today
Face to face

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I wish
I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say

Bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye

You never got a chance to see
How good I've done
And you never got to
See me back at number one
I wish that you were here
To celebrate together
I wish that we could
Spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to
Tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear you gave me
That I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact
You're gone forever

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I wish
I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say

Bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye

This is for my peoples
Who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby
Your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers
Friends and cousins
This is for my peoples
Who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky
Cause we will never say bye, bye.

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I wish
I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say

Bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye

reflect on it!

2008-06-24T09:53:00.005+08:00

last night a friend texted me around 11pm...
he told me, he was being talked about in their college,and that he couldn't take it anymore...
don't wanna mention the name of the college where he belongs, coz i didn't have his permission...
i know those girls/boys who, he said started the whole blab... I don't wanna pinpoint anyone,so i wanna generalize it...

to those Girls/Boys starting the gossip: stop minding some other people's business, you're just making it clear to all the people how cheap your are and stupid... instead of blabbing things about that guy/girl why don't you try blabbing things about yourself in that way you can help yourself GET A LIFE you deserve! get it?! you are clearly showing insecurities and you think that blabbing bout that guy/girl will heal those insecurities,truth is, you just don't realize it now but those insecurities are growing and growing everytime you blab, and it's getting clearer and clearer! so if i were you, if i hate that guy/girl you keep blabbing about, i'll just hush and leave it to the people to judge him...

to the guy they keep blabbing about: don't waste your time on those blabber mouths... you know yourself better than they do, reacting to those gossips will just give them room for their insecurities to grow, instead help them, don't mind every word that comes out of their mouth, practice the so called being "manhid" but in a good way... keep your head on those books and study or keep yourself busy, in that way your mind will be very occupied that you won't have time to listen to rumors... let it pass, if it's a rumor it'll just fade away if you won't mind it... if you think they're destroying your reputation just think, maybe they are threatened by your reputation... bottom line, don't stoop down to their level of insecurities, you still have your whole life to prove to the people that what they're blabbing about are wrong, only God can take that opportunity from you, so don't waste every second of it and start now, and don't forget to PRAY! it helps alot... :)

to those reading this, the victims, the suspects, the blabber mouths, the insecure, etc...
think of yourself first, look at yourselves in the mirror...
do you think you deserve such treatment?
do you think you are perfect enough to ruin some other person's reputation?
are you sure that if you blab about that person, no one's blabbing bout you?
always put yourself in his or her situation...
"DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU WANT OTHERS TO DO UNTO YOU"
think about it and reflect...

gossip is fun but set limitations as to the level of gossip, don't get carried away by gossip coz you won't get anything good in return, what you'll be getting are backstabbers backstabbing you... your friends in particular, if your a backstabber your friends are too..
"BIRDS OF THE SAME FEATHERS, FLOCK TOGETHER"
tested and proven! 100% true!
"YOU ARE WHAT YOUR FRIENDS ARE", coz you attract people who are LIKE you!

while waiting for my class!

2008-06-20T14:17:00.002+08:00

i'm sitting here infront of the computer
inside the library...
shivering coz it's cold...
listening to musics from the i.pod...
rubbing my hands...
minding my own business...

it's raining and everything's wet...
the grass, street,my hair,my top...
i love it!
i love it!
i love the weather!

keep up the GOOD work GOD! hehehe

woke up @ the wrong side of the bed

2008-06-16T09:03:00.002+08:00

Woke up today feeling down...

emotions rushing...

happy...gloomy...irritated...depression again?!
i'm sick, i'm sick, i'm sick

a day in school would be nice...

i will soon leave for school and hope

for all this rushing emotions

to disappear and will never come back! (i wish)

it's part of life,people feel down, people get depressed

it's normal. Here i go again, the optimistic

me is trying to yak it all away...

you know what helps?

a prayer and a cold glass of milk!

i'll go get one now...☻

escape from reality!

2008-06-14T23:03:00.008+08:00

shakin some booty!

sexy back!

fashion show?move that booty!

damn!

hugs and kisses!

in uniform!

some privacy pls! hahaha car car car! beepbeepbeep!

boring day

2008-06-14T13:04:00.003+08:00

i sat down, looked at the window and
contemplated on what to do after receiving that news
they kept telling me to text him
part of me just don't want to do that
why?
coz why would i waste my time texting someone who
doesn't even care!

yes, it was a sad news, made me cry
but i can't do anything anymore
that person didn't even want to communicate
so forget about it... duh!

so to those who said "cheen, text that person, show that person you care"
i did, what did i get in reply, "don't worry about me... blablabla"
FINE!

it's not hard to show someone you care...
what's hard is,accepting the fact that after showing you care that person
didn't even give a DAMN that you cared!
diba ka stupid!
so ! that's the end of it!

oh, diba boring! hahahah

fragile!

2008-06-14T12:39:00.001+08:00

Six thoughts at once I can't focus on one
Seven days a week but my life has just begun
So caught in emotion and I'm overcome
As I'm falling down I come undone

Sometimes I feel like I'm alone
Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong
Sometimes I feel so frail so small
Sometimes I feel vulnerable
Sometimes I feel a little fragile
A little fragile

In six thousand years what will this mean
Words from the heart or a melody
So caught in emotion and I'm overcome
As I'm falling down I come undone

Sometimes I feel like I'm alone
Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong
Sometimes I feel nothing at all
Sometimes I feel vulnerable
Sometimes I feel a little fragile
A little fragile

If people can see right through my eyes
Like an open door that I can't disguise
I won't be afraid from the tears I cry
I'll not run I'll not hide this is how I feel inside
A little fragile
A little fragile

Sometimes I feel like I'm alone
Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong
Sometimes I feel so frail so small
Sometimes I feel vulnerable
Sometimes I feel a little fragile

grabbed this from prince

2008-06-10T23:39:00.001+08:00

Reunion with Cheenee

Upon receiving a text message from Cheenee (my sis in UPS) that she is in Dumaguete, I was so excited to meet her and talk to her once again.

She really look good and sexy as she was wearing her light blue shirt and kinky shorts. We talk about a lot of things. Although, we haven't seen each other for quite some time, we still have the bond we had way back then. I really miss her and was happy so her again!

Allow me to tell how i knew cheenee way back before we become brothers and sisters in the same organization:

It was Clint Ordoyo, a good friend of mine and happened to be Cheenee's boyfriend in 2005, introduced me to her. Then I later knew that she was residing in the same dormitory with my crush. Then i tried to befriend her and ask her help for my courting-plans. After then, I later knew she entered a fraternity/Sorority named Upsilon Phi Sigma. She recruited me but I refused to. (was a creepy anti-frat by that time).

I had to admit that I had a crush on her before. hehehe (she knows). heehhe
It was when I decided to join the same organization that I really knew Cheenee and became one of my closest sis in the organization.

BACKTRACKS...... Cheenee left dumaguete after the closing of the first semester of 2007. She happened to be the Grand Archon of Upsilon Phi Sigma.

The picture above was taken when I visit Cheenee in her dance troupe practices at the Luce auditorium. As to the date..... i forgot!

Do you have what it takes?

2008-06-10T23:30:00.002+08:00

Are You Ready for Pointe Work?
Important questions to ask yourself...

Do you take regularly scheduled ballet classes?
Have you been taking ballet classes for two years, and take no less than three classes per year?
Are you physically strong? The toes must be able to hold your entire body weight, which is normally distributed to your whole foot.
Do you have the ability to enunciate your feet? Such as tendus and frappes where the foot itself needs to be flexible and strong.
Do you have a solid knowledge base of the basics and of the vocabulary? You should also be able to execute at least one pirouette in the center.
Do you have the ability to attain and hold your balance? For example, in a Releves you should be able to hit your balance and hold it.
Are you competent in remembering simple combinations, and executing them?
Are your plies soft and elastic?

brain wave

2008-06-09T11:34:00.004+08:00

would it be wrong to explore the other side of it all?
the other side of myself in which i thought i would not want to touch?
it could be possible you know....

the feeling of not wanting to be with him but her...

get the picture?

i Miss my Upsilon family! (silliman chapter)

2008-06-03T12:28:00.006+08:00

My Upsilon phi sigma family have had contributed a lot of stories in my life... from the day i had my services to the day i survived even until now. i have seen Upsilon Phi sigma "Silliman" chapter grow for three years. I've witnessed some of it's ups and downs over the years, people criticizing, rumors here and there, dreams and goals we reached and did not reach, some heartaches and anger between brods and sis, etc. etc. etc. but i never saw UPS fall! instead it even grew stronger and better.

I have to admit, i may not have spent most of my time with them due to some extra curricular activities like, the dancetroupe, dorm activities, BF! hahaha but i want every UPSILONIAN here on earth to keep in mind that i never regret joining the brotherhood and sisterhood bond of this frat/sor! i have always treasured the things they have done for me and others!

UPSILON PHI SIGMA no. 1 in Silliman, i am proud to be your sis! love you all and i'll see you soon! mwahz!

my very first booboo!

2008-05-31T17:38:00.004+08:00

Yesterday we had a ballet class which started early and ended late...
the usual bar works, warm ups, plie's, demi-plie's, tondu's, grand battement (bat-ma), develope's (de-ve-lo-pay), and all those excruciating stretchings, arabesque here, arabesque there, you might be wondering what this words are? well, they are ballet terms, french words of steps we execute every time we dance....

Anyway, we decided to use our pointshoes, we were doing our bourre's when i felt a tingling and numb sensation between my right big toe and the toe next to it,it felt kinda sticky, i felt my tights sticking to my toe which doesn't usually happen,but it didn't bother me i thought maybe it was just friction of something so i continued my bourre's, then my right shoe snapped... but i kept dancing i thought i could handle a broken toeshoe while dancing, besides we were almost done with the class... after class i took it off, and there it was! MY VERY FIRST BOOBOO!

This made me realize, i've been dancing for four years using this pair of toeshoes and it was only at this point -this booboo- that i felt like a BALLERINA! woppeeee! i only had blisters before but never a booboo! it actually bled! my tights had blood stains!

My next goal? A dead toenail! hahah in order to have it, i have to work hard and use my toeshoes often during ballet classes!hahahah

heartbreaks

2008-05-29T18:27:00.005+08:00

Heartbreak is a very strange distress. It is exquisitely painful, and yet we cannot find an injury on our body. It is like one big emotional pain but it also seems to spark off hundreds of other emotions. We hate the feeling of heartbreak, and yet we find ourselves compelled to go over and over memories, ideas or fantasies which make the feeling worse. What is going on?

when we end a relationship with the person our hold dear to your heart,a range of different strategies of coping and denying breaks loose. We feel loss and pain. Our normal ways of thinking about the world are disrupted. people with broken hearts encounter mood swings, feelings change from one point to another, the next thing you know you can relate to every song you hear . We long for our ex-lover, then we are filled with anger and denial. One minute we are desperate to see them, the next we can't bear to have anyone mention their name.

Heartbreak blooms by the end of a relationship. it can also be caused by fantasizing on a relationship you can or will never have . It can even happen slowly when we realize that we are in a relationship from which all the love has gone. However it happens, after the shock, it takes some time for reality to sink in. Then we experience a welter of feelings. We can be angry, sad, devastated, despairing, distraught, desperate, remorseful, regretful, ashamed, embarrassed. The emotional bombardment is overwhelming.

In the long term, we have a natural way of dealing with these feelings. We have an emotional mechanism that allows us to recover from losses and from pain. If we didn't have it, the whole world would be in mourning forever! Bereavement, parting and suffering are unavoidable parts of our life experience. The natural way we recover is by grieving.

2008-05-25T16:45:00.005+08:00

10 Ideal Characteristics of a Performer

1. Experience and skill in a number of dance forms, epescially the one represented
by the choreographer.
2. Interest in the arts and a great desire to dance.
3. Strong, healthy body, with a practical regard for joint action.
4. Broad perceptual field and an open mind.
5. Lots of energy, courage, patience, and strength.
6. The ability to cooperate and get along with others.
7. To take criticism and suggestions easily.
8. Tom move with conviction and projection.
9. To have time and energy for rehearsals, and a willingness to work.
10.The ability to move with urgency and passion.

Top 10 Reasons Teachers Don't Let Students Start Pointe

1. Improper placement
2. Too young
3. Not pulled up in body or feet
4. Feet not arched enough
5. Overweight
6. Lack of strength in torso
7. Weak knees
8. Weak ankles
9. Basic stance on demi-pointe not strong and correct
10.Taking too few classes per week

Top 10 Most Important Things I've Learned in Ballet Class

1. Girls can fly.
2. You gotta have the attitude.
3. You can't fall off the floor (easily).
4. Keep your toe nails short.
5. Barres are not invincible.
6. They tell you to spot for a reason.
7. It's not sweat, it's glow.
8. Wet floors are slippery.
9. There is (usually) no such thing as a stupid question.
10.->This is right, <-This is left.

goodbyes sucks!

2008-05-15T23:36:00.004+08:00

i have had a lot of goodbyes in my life
that it's hard for me to keep track
some of them i had my regrets on...
some, made me happy i did say those words...
and some, i just had to say goodbye...
whatever those reasons be
i hope in time you'll realize
things happen for a reason
whatever those reasons be
God knows

so for now
i just laugh at those goodbyes
cry over it
utter cruel words because of it
curse the people who say it
and forgive those who regret saying it...

alang magawa! hehehe

my life

2008-05-05T18:59:00.001+08:00

feelings

2008-05-03T09:11:00.003+08:00

it's a cool Friday morning... love the weather!

my stomach is crying out!
hunger strikes again!
i guess i'll go and grab something to eat
wanna join?
i could cook scrambled eggs with tomato and cheese
or corned beef with potato, still have some potato i guess
i could open a can of sausage cook it with garlic and onions
or better yet open the can of tuna my dad bought
and cook it with garlic and onions! yeah
think i'm going to do it right now!
i'll be back! :)

my name

2008-05-02T14:53:00.001+08:00

boredom strikes again!

2008-04-21T20:32:00.000+08:00

i'm sitting on my chair
looking up, hoping to see you
all i can see are stairs
and people i once new

i wonder if your thinking of me
wondering ho i almost had you
but all that flew away
all in one day...

i guess we weren't meant to be
i guess all those thoughts were just me
that i liked you
and you liked me

here's one thing i want you to know
all those things made me glow
i hope someday you'll realize
letting you go bring tears to my eyes!

hate it!

2008-03-25T11:06:00.000+08:00

sometimes you just have to listen to both sides of the story, to prevent yourself from judging the wrong person!

i'm in this situation wherein some people judge me because of what happened to me... you might be wondering what happened? let's just say, sometimes we do things without thinking of the consequences, or maybe we know the consequences yet we leave it aside coz as of the moment we like what we are doing and we feel good about it that we forget everything that might happen months after, then a big blow happens to us and how we wish we could go back in time and correct everything but we know we can never do that, we'll end up blaming ourself for everything, hurting ourself coz how we wish we never did that! here's a question we need to ask ourself "do you think regrets comes first?" sometimes things happens for a reason, i know this experience will help me be strong for more challenges to come in the near future...

bottom line... after what happened to me i thought he would be there to comfort me, instead he left me alone he never said a word to comfort me after everything... then i heard rumors about me and stories that ruined my reputation! to those who think i'm bad, why don't you try to listen to my side of the story in that way you can stop yourself from judging me and weigh things better! stop judging a person because you heard his side of the story! he was not even there when this things happened!

what if!

2008-03-06T10:47:00.000+08:00

Here I stand alone
With this weight upon my heart
And it will not go away
In my head I keep on looking back
Right back to the start
Wondering what it was that made you change

Well I tried
But I had to draw the line
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know

Many roads to take
Some to joy
Some to heart-ache
Anyone can lose their way
And if I said that we could turn it back
Right back to the start
Would you take the chance and make the change

Do you think how it would have been sometimes
Do you pray that I'd never left your side

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know

If only we could turn the hands of time
If I could take you back would you still be mine

so near yet so far

2008-02-29T10:58:00.001+08:00

all alone on a friday morning

can't stop thinking of you

wish i could hold you

hug you tight

and never let you go

guess for now i'll just keep on dreaming

dreaming of you

holding me

hugging me tight

and not letting go

memories of the past keeps haunting me

why did i ever let you go?

thought you were just one of them

you prove me wrong

after what you did

instead of pushing me away

you made me long for your love

more and more each day

i will wait

don't care how long

it's you my heart wants

it's you my heart needs

it's you i want to spend my life with!

mwah!! :)

pictures!

2008-02-28T09:51:00.000+08:00

hayahay
china opening night
me and anjie
dinner time in china
me and my bestfriend!!!!

me and aiken
me
us in china
performing in china
me and precy ROTC ball

bored!

2008-02-28T09:28:00.000+08:00

it's 9:30 in the morning and i'm bored...
i think i'll grab something to eat...
or maybe not...

I i'm not good in writing usually i express my feelings through dancing, i have friends who are good in writing i envy them, how i wish i could write like them, but then every person has his/her own way of expressing things i may not be able to express it in writing but i sure can express it in dancing... guess i'll be practising my writing skills with the help of this blogsite... for the next days or months i'll start writing anything i feel like writing... :)

introduction

2008-02-28T09:24:00.000+08:00

finally a place i call my own... now i can start writing stories and things i want to write! yahoooooo!